STILL ( A Poem For My Husband Who Died Last March)

I COULD NOTcloseup Richard's tombstone 001 SEE YOU ACTUALLY LEAVE

on that sharp night of unexpected terror

that made you strange with discomfort, pain, horror and then exhaustion

your anger at having to die so suddenly enclosed you like a clear plastic case

I couldn’t get through it; I didn’t have time

while you felt that I was always inside anyway

BUT I KNEW WHEN YOU WERE GONE

your body so squarely solid and stocky, the salesman at the suit store said your jacket size was “portly.”

like a round stove, you warmed me so quickly that I soon had to move away because I started overheating

YOUR CHEEK SLOWLY TURNED COLD

as I sat on the floor

my head resting on your hospital bed,

mentally smashed, and the room circling around me

Could you ever need me more?

Than now, in this monstrous country?

YOU DID NOT LEAVE ALONE, MY EVERYTHING

I summon you easily; you are me

 

 MY LOVE STILL HOVERS OVER YOU

And will ever hover.

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